Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize