gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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