dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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