took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
