Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
