I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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