Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
