Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
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I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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