I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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