Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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