Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
