trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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