she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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