Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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