i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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