jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
