i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
