i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
