my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
