He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
