but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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