That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
