it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
