Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize