We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
