I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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