East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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