guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
