I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His hands were made for my vagina.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
