I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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