We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
