I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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