People in love make me want to vomit
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
