I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Watching her eat just hurts me
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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