do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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