I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
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Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
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I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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