Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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