? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
