What tipped you off? The sombrero?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
