somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
