you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
