I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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