No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
