it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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