i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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