at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
