Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
