I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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