and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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