My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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