what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
