I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
