Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
