This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
