that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
