Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
