we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
