The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize