The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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