I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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