Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
