Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
