It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
