lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
