I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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