He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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