..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Randomize
